Dating whilst parenting can be difficult. A lot of people make the mistake of completely neglecting romantic partners, mainly because they are hyper-focused on their children. This often leads to otherwise promising relationships breaking down. If you are a parent but crave physical and emotional connection, there are some key considerations you need to make before you sign up for an online dating site. Thinking about the things this post will suggest will help you to become not only better at dating but also better at balancing dating with parenting. Read on to find out more.
Be Upfront About Being a Parent
The first thing you need to know is that it is essential that you are upfront with potential matches about your social status as a parent. If you hide the fact you are a parent, people could feel deceived when they inevitably find out. Also worth noting is the fact that, sadly, some people simply don’t want to enter into serious relationships with parents, because of the commitment that comes with dating somebody with children. Plus, if a relationship forged while dating online turns serious with somebody with children, there is an expectation that that person will play a role in the lives of their new partner’s children. Not everybody likes or wants anything to do with children.
The best way to be upfront is to write a small post on your dating profile. A post that simply explains that you are a parent and want somebody who is going to be able to play a role in your life and your child’s life is important. Of course, if you only want something short-term, while it is still important to disclose the fact you are a parent, you don’t necessarily have to ask people to be involved in the lives of your children if you don’t want to (and the chances are, you don’t).
Think About the Safety of Your Children
Your children’s safety is important, too. Under no circumstances should you ever date somebody with a criminal past, regardless of what the crime was. Do not make exceptions for people who are potentially dangerous, because if they hurt your children, you would never forgive yourself. You also do not want to expose your children to people with criminal inclinations, even if they are good people in other aspects of their life, because they could influence your children in unfavorable ways, or give them a romantic idea of crime, which is bad for obvious reasons.
You also never know who you are talking to. Not everybody is a good person, as you likely know. Make sure you thoroughly vet people before you introduce them to your children, so you do not end up forming a relationship with somebody who is dangerous, careless, or cruel. Get to know partners before introducing them to your children so that you can identify potentially hazardous character traits, too. Only when you are confident somebody has a good personality and a kind nature should you introduce them to your children. Also ensure they are who they say they are, as there is, unfortunately, a lot of catfishing taking place on the internet today.
Manage Your Time Well
If you want strong relationships, you need to manage your time well. Failing to manage your time can lead to romantic partners coming to believe that you do not want to be with them, or that you do not care about them. One of the reasons why it is so important to tell people you are a parent when you first start dating them is because if you do not, they will likely think that because you are very busy, you are either talking to other people, or you are not interested in them. Once you get to know your dates, you will be able to introduce them to your children, which means you can spend more time with them.
Managing your time well when you are a parent can be difficult. A good way to ensure that you balance your romantic relationships and your relationship with your child is to devote time each day to both. As a general rule, you should try and devote time to talking to your partner after your child has gone to bed, so you can bond with your child in their waking hours. You should also consider sending your child to stay with grandparents or a childminder once in a while, so you can go out with your partner.
Only Make Introductions When the Time is Right
Finally, make sure that you only introduce your partner to your children when the time is right. Do not make the mistake of making an early introduction. The thing with children is, if you introduce them to somebody and advertise them as your partner, your children will likely begin to bond with them immediately, which could cause them a lot of emotional harm if you then stop seeing that person. This is especially true if you are a single parent with sole custody of your children, as children crave another parent figure if there is only one in their life. Introducing your children to your partner too early could cause a lot of unnecessary problems for them if you do not continue the relationship or it ends suddenly.
Also worth noting is that if you have a close bond with your child and introduce a new partner to them, there is a chance that your child might reject them if the introduction is made too suddenly. You should tell your child about your partner and give them some time to come to terms with the idea of meeting them before you introduce them. Giving them time to come to terms with the idea will prevent feelings of anxiety. Bringing somebody they have never met home and suddenly introducing them without warning will be like a bomb going off in your house, so don’t make this mistake.
If you are a parent, you need to find balance in your life. If you are unable to balance romantic relationships and parenting, you will likely spend a lot of time alone, and a lot of time depressed. Use the guidance given here to enter dating more confidently.
